Bum Fight!

I look around just in time to see some angry old dude, he introduces himself as Irus, he also smells really bad. He tells me that he is king of the beggers around the palace, which to me seems really lame, but he seems quite proud of it. He then tries to tell me that other beggers are not welcome and that he would fight me. I found this to be quite the laughable concept and tried to persuade him otherwise, but since he would not listen to reason I was forced to beat him up. It wasn't much of a fight really, just me beating him up, I didn't kill him, just injured him so he would run away. The suitors were fairly impressed with my body and my rippling thigh muscles. Then Penelope came down and I told her the story of Odysseus and all the stuff he went through, then she recognized me and was really happy. Then me and Telemachaes began to plot about how to destroy the suitors. Then I went to sleep, waiting for tommorow to come.

Getting into the Palace, Took a Stoll to the Back

So after all of the planning and stuff with the sheepherder, we began our track back to the palace. This took quite some time but we made it and entered, then I saw my dog, who recognized me, tried to get up, but couldn't because he was so old and neglected, then he died. I got really sad because the first thing that happens when I enter my palace after 20 years is my dog dies. So then we enter the main chamber and meet up with the suitors who inform us that it could be a while before I can see Penelope. Then their leader hits me in the back with a stool, it really hurt, but i resisted the urge to kill him and just took it like a man. Then the real trouble began to start.

Getting Home

So we traveled to Ithica on this boat that was given to me by the Pahaecians, they also supplied me with many hunky sailors. After not too long we got to Ithica and that made me really happen. Then Athena came down and disguised me as some old guy,which was really gross. So then I decided to start walking back to my palace, then I got an idea. On my way their I stopped off by my friends sheep herding hut. We chilled there for a while and he didn't seem to recognize me. So after talking and planning how to get into the palace, we decided to leave. My cover story was I was just a begger who wanted to see Penelope so I could tell her what I had heard about Odysseus.

sdsdas

Hades, Phaecia, and Ithica

So I went to Hades, talked to some dead people, sacrificed some sheep and then when we got into hades we left. It really was pretty not exciting and un-fun. So then we went back to the ocean and started to sail for Ithica. Then I stopped telling this long story and the king of Phaecia gave me a ship and crew and sent me to Ithica. Then when I finally got to my homeland and was all happy and then Athena told me that I should be disguised as an old man and find a man who herds pigs. Then I will be able to get to my palace.

Bag of winds, giants, and crazy woman

So I was traveling around in my boat, when I found this island. My crew was looking mighty tired so we decided to land the boat in the island and let all the men off. Then there was this guy who gave us a bag of wind. So we left and were going home when I fell asleep and my crew opened the bag and the wind escaped. So we went back and the king was really pissed. So then we went to anther island and got eaten by some giants, they ate some of us. So we went to another island.

When we got to the next island, it looked like it would be a romping adventure. Then my crew got turned into pigs and Hermes saved me. So I decided to unpig my crew and run away. This adventure really sucked.

Posiden is a jerkface

So i was traveling on the ocean, just trying to get back to my awsome homeland, when Posiden is all like merrr, i suck. and then i'm all like whoaaaaaa, i'm shipwrecked :0 so i passed out in the hot sun and when i woke up there were these naked people around ;). i got real confuzzled so i went to see the king and athena turned into a maiden and guided me there. this whole time i was not wearing clothes. then i wore a cloud. the princess totally had the hots for me, and i was all like Yea-Yeah! then the king was gonna give a brotha a hand and get me on my way. hopefully i will be able to get back to my crib and lay the smackdown on some foolz.